what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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