So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
