there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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