If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
