Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize