oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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