We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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