Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
