i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
