***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
