So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
