OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
