So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
