If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
