I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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