i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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