Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
