I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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