He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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