fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
