just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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