Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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