i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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