something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
