Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize