I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
