Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
