We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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