Where are you?
In a non slutty way
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
