No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
