My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
