Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
