im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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