Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
