I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
