if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
