ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
