Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
