Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
