her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
