The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
