She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
