I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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