Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
only you would photoshop your dick
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
