If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
