well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
