halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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