So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize