I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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