are you so shy because you have an std?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
