My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am available for nakedness
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
