Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
