guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There r osticjed everywhere
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
