so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
