I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I got inside last night via doggy door
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
