If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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