a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
