Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
