Kiss
Puke
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
