So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You left your phone here
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