just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
