As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
