I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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