When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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