just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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