this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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