Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
