Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Panties = found
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