Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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