I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
